Gate Be Gone

I know this has been coming for a while. When we first moved to our home the kids were about 9 months old. When we moved in we put up gates. Those gates were WONDERFUL. They kept them in. They kept them out. They kept them safe. They kept me sane.

We only had 3 gates for the kids. There was one across the playroom, one at their bedroom door and one at the top of the stairs. When Douglas started working from home we switched the playroom and the office. He wanted the "playroom" because it had doors. I'm not sure why he would want doors to keep us all out. What he really needs is a vault. But at that time the downstairs gate came down.

The gate to their bedroom didn't last too long either. It wasn't a very high gate and my monkeys discovered that they could easily scale that gate.

But the top of the stairs gate has been pretty important. Although my kids are great with stairs there were times I didn't want them going downstairs while I was upstairs. There were only a few times (each day) I locked them upstairs while I was downstairs. Just kidding! We often host playgroup at our house and it also helps keep the smaller kids from exploring the entire upstairs.

Over the last few months my kids have discovered their super hero strengths. By pulling on the gate they can pull it open! VIOLA! FREEDOM!!!! And also because it's really fun to annoy their mother they choose to do this several times a day. Because if you don't USE those super hero strengths you might lose them. We wouldn't want to chance that.

So several times each day they yank on the gate and bang it around. It's metal. It clanks into the wall and it clanks into the latch. So several times a day I politely say, "STOP BANGING THAT GATE!!!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE OR HEAR ANYONE TOUCHING THE GATE EVER AGAIN!!!"

Then I usually hear the gate slam shut, someone crying that they have been shut out, the gate banging again while they slam it open and then the gate banging again while isolated kiddo slams it shut once again. To which I politely say, "WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU ABOUT THE GATE?!?!? WHAT PART ABOUT NOT TOUCHING THE GATE DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!?!" I then spend the next 5 minutes breathing into a paper bag while I feel guilty about yelling at my kids while reminding myself that yelling is still better than hitting, throwing things or drowning my sorrows in, um, chocolate?

The next thing I do, naturally, is call my husband to complain. The next thing he does is hangs up on me for bothering him with such trivial matters once again. He then emerges from the vault, er, I mean office, and apologizes. I tell him, "We need to take that gate down before I completely lose my mind!" He agrees and says, "It's on my list of things to do." Great.

The other day I went upstairs to find this:

Leona naturally inspected the gate because she, of course, would have had absolutely NOTHING to do with how this happened. Have I mentioned recently that she is the biggest, strongest and definitely the LOUDEST, most easily offended gate slammer?

So if you need any gates removed at your house please let us know. We'll just send the kids over. They do EXCELLENT demolition work. We're still working on the wall repair sector. I'm sure we'll have perfected by the time they are teenagers.